#1: The One Where Annika Sticks To It
2022 is wrapping - along with my day career and everything I knew.
This intro is going to be uncharacteristically long - I swear, I’ll work on the brevity going forward but it’s my first substack so I’m giving myself the permission to find my footing!
I’ve always wanted to be a regular content creator - someone with prolific thoughts and presence. But I’ve also been plagued by questions: Do I have something to say? Can I provide value every time? Does anyone care? Since 2019, particularly with the growth of my writing career and podcast, That Desi Spark, one thing has become clear to me: the answer to all of those questions is a resounding yes. And I’m finally in a place to own it.
2022 certainly didn’t make that lesson an easy one. After getting hit with COVID-19 while on a solo trip to Ireland (all masked [no pun intended] by a pretty Instagram feed that hid the reality of a 10-day quarantine, alone, with a raging fever in Scotland once I tested positive), to in-law health issues, the death of a colleague, a rapidly deteriorating work environment, a job change that didn’t pan out with as much hope as I’d gone in with, a move back to NYC after a year away, a pregnancy loss and a subsequent healthy pregnancy, and long-term effects from COVID…to say the year came with challenges, discomfort, and a lack of productivity would be an understatement.
But one remarkable silver lining shone through. Over the summer, as I hoped to get out of my toxic, former role at a medical institution, I thought, “Can I leave healthcare after 10 years of education and time spent?” Though I wanted to go HAM on full-time writing, I chickened out. I was offered a role at a startup, where creativity was encouraged, and that opportunity thankfully allowed me to realize that, yes, I could leave healthcare.
Two months later, that role wasn’t meant for me either - and I had a choice to make on pursuing another role (just to go on maternity leave) or leveling with myself on what I wanted out of life.
Sonali Dev, an author friend of mine, asked if my vision for life had always been a triangle of working, writing, and podcasting.
“No,” I answered, a bit sheepish…and a bit in shock that I was saying the words aloud. “The day job was never a permanent plan. I’ve always wanted to write full-time and be a storyteller across platforms.”
There it was.
It’s taken many soul-searching, information-gathering, raw conversations, a ton of budgeting (and budgeting again), and the (ahem. terrifying) understanding that I am now a business, to decide full-time creativity was the move. It came, in some ways, at a time when I wasn’t prepared for it - with a baby on the way, it seems like one hell of a Hail Mary! But I’m here.
I am a full-time writer, podcast host, and storyteller. And social media isn’t always my forte…but writing is. This feels like a natural place to connect with all of you.
These are my notes to you as I figure it out in all its sloppy glory. You can expect conversation around podcast episodes, mental health insights (anxiety management, grounding exercises, burnout info, and more), learnings about maximizing creativity, techniques about writing, the juicy tidbits I haven’t gotten to share publicly yet, my latest news, and…requests are welcome.
Thanks for hanging in there with me! I wish I could give you a giant bear hug but for now, know it means the world.
The Self-Care Epiphany
Last week, we wrapped on Season 7 of That Desi Spark, with mental health therapist Divya Robin (follow her @mindmatterswithdiv on IG). The episode revolved around setting boundaries with families and provided so many techniques and tips to draw lines in the sand, starting small and building to a comfortable place of health.
The piece that stuck with me - the one that stopped me and made me rethink my own self-care habits - was that self-care methods should be proportionate to the stress we’re undergoing. Say you’re facing a Level 10 stressor - a level 1 self-care method won’t put your mind at ease. And, ooooh, I’m guilty of this. I wonder why painting my nails, reading a book, or taking a long shower doesn’t seem to help when I’m in the middle of a panic attack or when I’ve allowed my anxiety to spiral into sleeplessness or irritability.
I’m doing all the self-care, bro, whaaat is going on with me?
It’s embarrassing to admit that I’ve never considered whether the self-care was adequate in size to counter the stress…it too had become a checkbox item: relaxation was a task.
But in the last months, I’ve spent significant time examining my patterns, triggers, areas of joy, and necessary areas to “trim the fat,” until my plate is ready to handle the additional weight. I needed more Level 10 self-care mechanisms in my toolbox. The three lessons I found helped the most:
Mundane tasks have the ability to become self-care - it doesn’t have to be glamorous, it needs to lift a weight: we moved back in September and I hadn’t unpacked my office properly until last week. It felt like more work. But I also noticed the anxiety spike when I stepped into the room, which then impacted my ability to work efficiently. Setting time on my calendar (prioritizing) with an alarm (a deadline), turning on some music (inserting joy), and organizing/hanging up photos/vacuuming (decluttering) added a refresh to a “working” task, and I felt infinitely better after it was done. I did this every day - one housework task to ease my mind. I began enjoying it…and lo and behold, every room of our apartment now has its own soothing power. Find your therapeutic everyday task.
Say no: I canceled plans twice last week, said no to a book blurb, and listened to my body for a change. Energy is simply lower these days and so is the threshold for activity. There was also a ton of guilt, frustration, and feeling like a flake. We’re wired to be productive and programmed to feel guilt if we rest. But as my aching joints healed and the drained vibe lifted, mental clarity appeared. We throw around the word “burnout” often. Preventing it is an active effort. Feel out your limits. “No,” is a full sentence.
Not every gathering, friend date, or meeting is a life-changing opportunity you have to take. Since moving back, I’ve had intense FOMO about building my network and career…but recognizing which cup is being filled (and if it needs to be filled) is critical. Are you looking at a career opportunity? Networking? Social fulfillment? Feeling loved? Once you’ve examined your motivation for showing up, it’s easier to determine whether it’s a high priority, a need, a want, or a stretch.
The Writing Edit
My agent, Stacey, gave me some real talk when I was fiddling around with the idea of quitting my job this summer (not realizing I’d end up here anyway - thanks, universe!).
“Annika, one thing to keep in mind is that the transition to full-time may be jarring. You’ve worked within strict confines of time, before or after work, until now. When the day opens up, you might feel overwhelmed on where to start. Give yourself time.”
Pshhh. Please. This is what I wanted! I’d be fiiine.
Narrator: she was not fine.
I had a full three weeks of creative paralysis…after the first two weeks of mental vacation to recover from the year and focus on my health. In case you’ve lost count, that’s 5 weeks of doing relatively squat creatively.
Stacey nailed it. Going from an hour or two to 8 seemed easy enough: I would write manuscripts like a machine, build social media content, have time to focus on podcast growth, network, build out elaborate marketing plans, and execute.
It didn’t quite go that way. How did I want to grow socials (do I become an influencer? Wait, I have no fashion sense!)? How do I market my books (I have to learn a TikTok dance, don’t I…)? Everything felt like an opportunity. Everything had an additional follow-up plan. And what I wanted—to write—became more complex than I’d anticipated. It got lost in the noise.
I did 5 things to snap out of the spiral. Here are my insights:
Plot your ideal working day: This exercise blew my mind. By building an ideal schedule, I instantly got insights into the most important and most loved parts of my work and life - this includes self-care time! Anything that didn’t make the cut wasn’t at the top of my priority list. The chances of following through on that perfect day are slim - but it provides a framework for seeing what’s important, scheduling, your capacity, and where you want to invest time. It also weeds out distractions.
Consider your timeline and achievable goals: My first deadline is the baby’s arrival. What could I do in 4 months? (Answer: a lot, if efficient and focused). Assessing the time frame I was working with, whether I could complete certain projects, where I would need help, and what I would consider progress was critical.
Set an accountability check-in: A friend of mine is working on a deadline too - we meet at 5 AM on Zoom to write for 2 hours before her child wakes. Someone with similar goals may understand your urgency and motivate you.
Your time is a commodity: Success has never felt more critical - and the flip side is that failure is not an option. Time is now money. Use it wisely. I’ve had to designate one or two days where I network or have friend dates (this also leaves me 3 or 4 full working days a week rather than 5). I have a more rigid schedule. Focus mode on my phone is almost always on. For now, every investment of my time has a cost analysis associated with it. Resting time has also become sacred.
Focus on producing your best, not producing a lot: This one was hard to figure out. I got swept up in social media ideas, podcast growth plans, content creation, and manuscripts. “If I spend 8 hours a day writing, I can push out 3 manuscripts by March.” Newsflash: no. Play the long game. Produce quality work. Add to your plate slowly.
The Annika Corner
It’s been a big week! And it’s only Monday!
I received the Advanced Reader Copy (ARC) for Sugar, Spice, and Can’t Play Nice, the second book in the Chai Masala Club Series. Preorder is available (these help tell publishers that stories by authors of color are in demand and provide greater opportunities for writers!).
The first trade review is in! Publisher’s Weekly called Sugar, Spice “entertaining,” “charming,” “rich with culture,” and “a pleasure.”
I did an interview with Emma Bird, a reader and aspiring writer I met in North Carolina this past summer at a signing in Winston-Salem. It was such a joy!
CanvasRebel Magazine featured That Desi Spark in a digital interview.
Thank you so much for signing up as I get the hang of this! I promise I’ll keep working to be better and provide value. Please feel free to share, comment, or email/DM me if something resonates or if you have any questions! I’d love to hear what’s working and what’s not. I have a ton of ideas and I’m excited to build on this.
Until next week…keep lighting That Desi Spark. (I’m kidding. I’ll work on a sign-off too!)